(Don't) Sign Me Up For That Job

Okay, I take it back...I don't wish that I became a food critic when I was 12. At least not if it meant I would come off like this kid does. And really, a critic talking directly to the owner/chef of the restaurant he is reviewing? Come on.

Retrospective: The Birth of "Gun-Fu"

is, quite simply put, a critical node in the development of the action genre. I bring this film up in particular because I was just discussing it with some friends with reference to the films of some other "greats" such as Jean-Claude Van Damme. So how exactly is this 1986 Hong-Kong film at the root of some of today's most influential and popular films?

Well for starters, up until the release of ABT Chinese-imported films were on the map pretty much because of one man and the genre he defined: Bruce Lee and the kung-fu flick. Outside of that genre however, America (probably for good reason) had little interest in anything else from across the ocean. That is, until director John Woo came along. Woo drew from and updated diverse influences, be they the hardboiled detectives of film noir such as Sam Spade, classic Chinese tropes such as heroic bloodshed, the gangster flicks of Martin Scorsese, or the kung-fu film itself. By switching out physcial prowess for pistols and explosions, however, Woo founded a new genre of film, gun fu, and a modern age of action films was born.

So where would we be without ABT? Well, there would be no international moviestar Chow Yun Fat and who knows if Crouching Tiger could have been the same otherwise. Woo's career wouldn't have taken off either, as he went on the make several other HK classics such as Hardboiled and The Killer, and also American hits such as Face-Off and Mission Impossible-II. The revenge genre would not have arisen, meaning no Oldboy for Park Chan-wook or Mexico Trilogy (or breakthrough) for Roberto Rodriguez. Without the bullet flying and gun-toting antics of Fat and his costars, the inspirations behind the fight choreography behind pivotal films such as The Matrix would be absent as well (let's add the careers of Keanu Reeves and Larry and Andy Wachowski for good measure too). The film once again made HK and Chinese film cool and paved the way for the re-emergence of classical kung fun films such as Jet Li's Once Upon a Time in China and Jackie Chan's Rumble in the Bronx. As the film no doubt opened the way for other HK gangster flick's such as Infernal Affairs, without ABT we also would never have had The Departed, or for that matter Marty still would be Oscar-less.

I could go on, really, but I think enough is enough. Watch the clip below to see the scene that in my opinion redefined a generation of action films.

The Beets Anthology

Quoting from wikipedia:

The Beets: A rock band, composed of Monroe Yoder; Wendy Nespott; Chap Lippman; and Flounder, clearly based on both The Beatles (in name and somewhat Scouse accents) and The Ramones (in appearance and sound) with bits of The Smashing Pumpkins as well (in outlook and contemporariness), that Doug and Skeeter are big fans of, later breaks up, and go solo in the Disney version. The band's last album was titled Let It Beet, with an album cover parodying both the Beatles' Let It Be and The Rolling Stones' Let It Bleed. Songs The Beets produced include: "Killer Tofu", "I Need Mo' Allowance", "Where's My Sock?", and "You Gotta Shout Your Lungs Out". Numerous episodes involve Doug and Skeeter pursuing tickets to the band's concerts, or the band members themselves. The band's original name was "The Pickled Beets", a possible reference to the Beatles originally being known as "The Silver Beetles". Their first #1 single was "I Sneezed On My Face". The band has developed a cult following with original viewers of the show. The band's popularity reached an all-time high with "Beet Mania" (clearly a reference to Beatlemania). In addition, Doug once won tickets to a Beets concert through a radio contest, after Skeeter absent-mindedly named (correctly) one of the Beets' albums ( in witch a Tiny image of Chap lipman's gall bladder surgery is hidden ), Beets Me.

And now, the anthology:







And just for fun, Doug's premier single: Banging on a Trashcan

TV Weekend: Andy Samberg's Sloppy Seconds, Lost Teaser, I Hate Bobby Flay

-After the initial shock wore off and I successfully fought the urge to vomit, I realized that Andy Samberg's latest digital short is actually pretty funny, if extremely lewd. Mostly though I just love the cameos from Jamie Lynn Siegler (currently dating Entourage's Turtle of all people), Molly Sims, and JT (!?, as the cleanup in aisle 3 guy).

-With only a month and a half to go, the premiere of Lost Season 5 is imminent. How better to rejoice than with a 2 minute promo segment from the 1st episode, "Because You Left". If you must there are also plenty of spoiler videos surfacing with plenty of predictions for the season as well.


-When I was in college I had an arch-nemesis. My nemesis was one of my closest friend's best friend. She enjoyed making fun of me in languages, namely Hindi, that I could not understand and generally made me look like an idiot at every potential opportunity. Though she certainly got on my nerves, the title of nemesis was honorific and playful, I just don't have the heart to actually dislike anybody that much. So please understand what I mean when I say I hate Bobby Flay. Nothing against his food, or probably even his real life personality. But the man's on-air ego I just cannot stand. Flay bases all of his shows (Iron Chef, Throwdown!) on the premise that he is G-d's gift to mankind and a culinary superstar. Not just that, but his ego even prompted a cross cultural hubbub after he finally succeeded in beating Iron Chef Morimoto on the original Japanese Iron Chef. So hopefully you can understand why I was so tickled to see that I am not alone in my sentiments. I'm just waiting for the day that I bump into Flay on the street and challenge him to a throwdown...

PS: Be on the lookout for a Full House re-vamp helmed by John Stamos. Somebody must be nearing bankruptcy...lucky for him though poor is in this season.

Millionaire, Bollywood Style

Three weeks ago I wrote about my anticipation and the buzz surrounding the newly released Slumdog Millionaire. Through a series of flashbacks evoked by a tortuous police interrogation surrounding his alleged cheating, the film recounts the story of Jamal, a Muslim orphan hustling for a living in the slums of Bombay, and how he came to be just one question away from the 20 million rupee prize on India's most popular game show. To say that all of my expectations were met would be an understatement. Director Danny Boyle weaves an intricate narrative that ties together the most poignant scenes from Jamal's life and plays out as a type of modern day fairy tale about the power of true love and determination. That said, however, do not confuse this movie for a candy-sweet Disneyesque fable. Rather, interspersed among the film's most touching moments are glimpses of man at his worst and most desperate. These roles in the film are assumed by Jamal's older brother Salim, a tenacious, though arrogant and corrupt teen that robs Jamal of one prize after the next, a deranged orphanage leader, and even Millionaire's host, an envious former-slumdog loathe to see another pauper rise to fame and fortune himself. Boyle puts the viewer on the edge of his seat at multiple points throughout the movie as the sheer dramatic force of the movie draws you in and makes you cringe at the disaster possibly awaiting the protagonists.

The film is also stunningly shot, with beautiful panormas of the emerging Bombay skyline, the Taj Mahal, and the Indian countryside shot with gorgeously filtered cinematography to highlight the full pallete of India's diversity. The acting is all top notch, I even read that Boyle bestowed co-director status to his Indian casting director for her invaluable contribution to the film. In addition, actress Freida Pinto plays Jamal's love interest Latika with an effortless grace, not to mention beauty. Current events aside, the film plays out as a symbol of the promise that Bombay holds for all its people, slumdogs included, not to mention as a postcard trying to draw foreigners to the country. Slumdog is certainly the best film I've seen in theaters (excluding Dark Knight...a very different beast indeed) for a few years at the least. See Slumdog for yourself and see for yourself how Jamal won the millions, if he cheated, if fate can bring true lovers together, and to see what a quality film looks like. Expect best director and film nods at the least, not to mention casting.